Monday, August 17, 2009
I grew up playing with dolls instead of G.I. Joes, so I didn't know the back story before seeing G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, but I'm not so sure that that mattered much anyway. This movie, directed by Stephen Sommers, wasn't great. At times I even laughed out loud over the bad acting.
Arms dealer James McCullen (Christopher Eccleston) owns the company MARS. They've created a nanotechnology weapon that was purchased by the United States. The army must deliver these warheads. Soldiers Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayons) are delivering the weapons when they're attacked by the Baroness (Sienna Miller). Duke realizes that she's his ex-fiancee Ana Lewis - it's a long story. The G.I. Joes, led by General Hawk (Dennis Quaid at his worst), bail the boys out. Duke and Ripcord decide that they want to be a part of the supercool Joes.
Meanwhile, the corrupt McCullen is using his technology, along with the help of the creepy Doctor (an unrecognizable Joseph Gordon-Levitt), to build an indestructible army. Massive fights between the two sides ensue, and Paris is almost destroyed by the nano-warheads.
The action in this movie jumped from being on ice to land to air to underwater and not in a good way. It was all over the place. I'd skip this film, or wait and catch it on DVD.